The Punishment of Loving You
by Little Falcon
Summary: ZeroYuuki...My version of chapter 29. my first Vampire Knights story


**The Punishment of Loving You**

_A/N: Guys this is my first time. It would really help to know hear your reviews. _

"Do you want to become a vampire?" his words were so gentle… yet harsh but all I can say was "Yes." _I will do everything for him. _Those words were my mantra ever since he saved me ten years ago… but when it came to the point when I felt his hot breath on my neck and his sharp fangs on my skin… I thought of someone… and it made me turn away.

Kaname Kuran is my savior… my hero and up until now I believe there was no one else but him for me. But at that time… when a familiar face invaded my thoughts at the most decisive moment… that thought… made me reject my most important person's request to be by his side.

_Why… _this is the question that has been plaguing my mind ever since the moment I refused his offer. _ I can't look into his eyes anymore… _it was as if… I betrayed him. Before he left, there was no proper conversation between us. Probably because I was too scared to talk to him. _Scared? _I never got scared of him… even though I already saw him drink someone's blood countless times and even though I witnessed how he could destroy someone's existence without even touching them. The sight of his blood tainted fangs never made me step back but why am I hiding now?

"Will my heart become stronger too? If I were to become a vampire," I asked a foolish question. The answer to that should be known by me among any other after all I had lived with vampires around me for years but… I want to hear what _he _would say.

"I'll never let you turn into something like that… even if it means making Kaname Kuran my enemy and even if that will make you hate me," his silver eyes held the determination that I never saw before but it felt gentle as well.

"All I can say was yes…," he was walking away and I was mumbling to myself as I watched the snow flakes descend from the dark sky. "But at that moment…I saw you…" I heard his steps halt but I didn't look at him. I was afraid to see how he would react… but at the same time… I want him to hear this.

The transparent glass window was cold under my touch as my eyes never left the familiar scenery of falling snow. "From the time he saved me. I was so sure that I can do anything for him… but when that time came to prove my worth… I turned away," gathering up all my courage, I removed my hand from the cold glass and faced his back.

"Your kind lives for what seems to be seconds to us… those words were like a splash of cold water in my face. Then I thought of you…" He stood there still his back against me as I continued. "When he asked me to become a vampire… I agreed because part of me wanted to do everything for Kaname-senpai… but… a part of me… wanted to be by your side," the pain was too much… he was clearly uninterested… I had to avert my eyes from him or else. My vision began to turn blurry as I felt tears threatening to fall.

"But then… I realized how you hate vampires… If I turned into one… then you would hate me as well..." forcefully closing my eyes, I released my tears as I told him. "What's the use of being by your side forever if you hate every fiber of my existence?" it was too much… I need to get away from him… from his eyes… from his presence… from everything.

As I turn away, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his arms. "How can I hate you when I don't even have the right to love you," I couldn't blink, I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. His arms held me tightly as if I'm going to disappear. I had to return his gesture or else I'll end up being miserable for the rest of my life.

I returned his embrace with equal ferocity to his. Zero drew back and looked at me with his mesmerizing eyes… I can't turn away. As I've expected… I immediately lost track of who I am.

One of his hands held my shoulder while the other one caressed my cheek. The warmth of his palm was so inviting… I leaned on to it. When I opened my eyes, all I saw was his handsome face then everything faded.

His lips were unexpectedly warm and soft. As our lips touched it felt like something I was holding back was released. I felt calm and excited all at the same time. His thumb slowly caressed my cheek as I tilted my head to his silent request.

"I think it's this way," we reluctantly stopped and looked into each other's eyes lovingly before the other students found out the school prefects making out in the hallway. "I…I'll be turning in then…" finding the courage to walk away from him.

My lips still held his taste…I can't help myself to touch it. My heart was ramming against my chest like crazy. I can hear it beating in my ears as the hot sensation that erupted when our lips began to spread throughout my body.

_Sanctuary… _finally, I reached my room. From what had happened earlier, I don't think I will be able to act normally for days. Quickly I turned the knob, got in immediately and slammed it shut as if I'm being cased by someone.

The breath I didn't know I was holding finally left my lungs. Forcefully shutting my eyes and leaning my back on the door, Zero's low masculine voice rang in my ears as the scenes a while back began to replay in my head.

"Yuuki…" it's so real it was as if he's right in front of me. As I tried to catch my breath, my eyes slowly opened to see him staring right at me… just like before. "Zero-," he drowned my voice with his kisses as his hands trapped mine above my head.

Our fingers intertwined as his tongue stoked my lower lip. Opening slightly for him, he slowly eased in his tongue. Moans I barely knew that were mine filled my room as I felt his hands crawling underneath my uniform.

My fingers tangled with his hair as our kiss turn from gentle to torrid. I was oblivious to the fact that he was carrying me to my bed. It all came to me when he was hovering over me… gazing at me so lovingly with his silver eyes.

Resting my hands on his broad shoulders I beckoned him to continue. The moonlight was filtered by the French doors in my room as it revealed his handsome features.

When we broke away for air, he gazed at me and I at him. "Yuuki… become mine… mine alone…" there was definitely a possessive tone in his tone but he was trying to make a point. I knew he was pertaining to my relationship with Kaname. He wanted to own me… to give myself to him and him alone.

I never meant to compare but at that moment, when he asked me that question… his voice, his gaze, his touch… everything about him at that moment… made the event with Kaname days ago seem insignificant. Right then and there… without hesitation or delay, I agreed to be his.

The snow made everything outside white. As I looked at the scenery from my room, it was as if everything vanished into nothingness. The sheet I held against my naked body only gave little help to keep me warm against the chilly atmosphere.

_How many winters will pass with me by his side until… _something warm trickled down my cheek. I drew back as I felt someone gently wiped away my tear. "WHY? WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BECOME LIKE YOU?! I CAN BE BY YOUR SIDE… I'll be there for you always. I'll do everything for you… just please," he crushed my body with his fierce embrace. I stood there frozen unable to react.

"That's what I'm trying to prevent," his arms embraced me tighter against his half naked body. "Do you think it's easy for me to refuse to have you by my side forever? The thought of not being with you… I can't breathe," his lips kissed the top of my head. "Then why won't you let me?!" I tried to struggle out of his embrace as my tears silently landed on the marbled floor.

"Seeing your friends… your family…your loved ones…age and die right in front of you…it's the worst punishment for any living being. You maintain your youth as others wrinkle and deteriorate. It's like living the worst punishment in hell… that's why you can't be like me… I will never let you suffer the way I will… when I lose you," his hands were trembling as he caressed my tear stained cheeks.

I broke down when I saw him crying openly right in front of me. "I understand… I won't do it… just please let me stay by your side until," his lips cut my statement short as he drowned me in his kisses as if begging me not to continue.

_A/N: What do you think? My first Vampire knight story… read and review onegai…_


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